Friday, 31 October 2014

Run for your life



For your All Hallow's Eve dance party, masked ball pre-drinking/devil summoning ritual (I see you pz crew) or for burying a body in your back yard, You Ruin Everything has got your scaly, decaying back. Eat your heart out .

Wednesday, 24 September 2014

Teenage Wasteland // Advice 4 Lyf


Tomorrow I will be twenty years old. It feels totally weird and wrong and gross because I want to be a teenager forever because we get away with so much shit you guys. Anyway, for those of you who still get to be living the dream, I wrote twenty pieces of advice that I have learnt in my twenty (eugh) years of being a person. You’ll most probably ignore this and do what you feel like doing and that’s cool with me.

1. Never be ashamed to love something because it isn’t cool or people laugh at you because of it. Loving something intensely is the coolest shit there is.

2. Be nice to other people, unless they are shit to you, then let all hell break loose.

3. Your gut will always know what’s up.

4. Don’t waste your money on stuff. Buy things second hand if you really need something and try to fix broken things before you replace them. Save as much as you can somewhere safe and hard to get to. If I had saved all the money I spent on clothes this past year I could be in Bali right now.

5. Everything you feel has been felt by someone else before, and they are probably feeling o.k. right now, even if it is the most painful, lonely feeling you've ever felt.

6. Worrying is counterproductive. So is the internet, T.V. drugs, staying up late, random hook-ups, fast food, breaking the law, and punk rock.

7. It is o.k. and important to be counterproductive occasionally.

8. Say please and thank you. Expect nothing.

9. Never ever fail to do something because you are scared.

10. If you fancy someone it is no big deal. Tell them or get over it, but don’t fancy them secretly for three years and think that they will magically fall in love with you on a school science trip to Poland because they won't and you will be miserable most of the time.

11. If you want to lose weight and feel better, exercise more and eat/drink mainly vegetables and water. This is, however, no way to live and sometimes burgers and Reese’s’ peanut butter cups are the only thing that will keep you going.

12. Make sure to tell people in your life that you love them (if you do), and that they are important (if they are).

13. It is not failure if you tried your best, but check yourself if you were lazy and didn’t work at it.

14. Apologise, forgive, and move on when you know you should. Revenge is for assholes and Quentin Tarantino films.

15. Work in the service or retail industry (or both like I do). It will be mostly terrible and you’ll hate it but you’ll learn a lot, and will always be able to get a job anywhere in the world.

16. Never miss an opportunity to get free things, but realise that there is probably a catch.

17. Sometimes, you need to shut up and realize you are wrong and stupid (but being wrong and stupid is okay as long as you're trying to learn shit as you go along).

18. You are a tiny insignificant bag of atoms on a rock. It really isn’t a big deal.

19. Don't give up when it gets hard, give up when you have no reason to continue.

20. Keep it as simple as possible, and always remember you're going to die (yeah yolo I fucking said it).

I'm now going to go to sleep so I can wake up and put birthday cake in my mouth and get sung to. Have a wonderful week.


Amy x

Tuesday, 23 September 2014

It's probably going to be ok

Callum, Josh, John, Poppy & Mimi at Bestival '14. MIA is myself, Charlie, Jared, and Harry.
This post is dedicated to everyone who has helped me through this asshole of a decision/process, I couldn't have done it without you.

I'm in my bed alternating between typing and staring at the A4 version of Thelonoius Monk's Advice (1960) stuck to an otherwise empty white wall in my old bedroom. Today I got a job in a coffee shop and it finally hit me that I'm not going back to school.

I guess I can blame the neglect of this blog on that. Although at first it was down to the sheer joy of being back home in summer and wanting to be in the sea the whole time and not working at all anymore and wanting to spend absolutely zero time on my laptop, but it eventually came down to me having to furiously write essay after essay during the days and nights of what felt like a month but was really only four days, nervous emails to the head of media and cultural studies at UAL, and absolute decision paralysis. 

It didn't help that I had to decide two days after Bestival, which, without meaning to sound like an absolute fucking dick head was the most beautiful experience of my life, with a comedown that lasted for weeks and involved me sobbing anytime Disclosure came on the radio, feeling seasick constantly and day-sleeping outside wearing sunglasses with glittery palm trees stuck to them.

Failing university (first year especially), is a scary, humiliating, and daunting thing to have happen to you. It's at that point you realise that you've fucked up monumentally and it's so fucking embarrassing. I wrote a piece two weeks ago when I was in the midst of this whole thing but which I didn't have the guts to publish, and reading it back I've realised I've never felt more alone and scared and confused in my life. If it wasn't for my family and friends I honestly don't know if I could've gotten through it, and I owe them so much. You realise that a lot of stuff you thought was important really isn't, who you can rely on/cry on the phone to, and you learn that feeling shit is like the symptoms of a cold - it's just evidence you're fighting something gross.

It's the details that are the worst though. It's the library books that need to be returned and the student loans and oyster card that needs to be cancelled, the process of finding someone else to take over the room in my flat and telling all of my uni friends I'm not coming back. Telling old relatives sucks, but telling random strangers who ask how you're doing is strangely liberating, especially because you know they don't give a fuck about how you are doing and over-sharing to randos at this point is the only thing stopping you from losing it entirely. 

And it is tiring. It isn't possible for someone to feel that much stuff and function how they're meant to. This past weekend I was in London packing all my stuff from my flat into a rental van. I've realised it's more than likely my last time there this year (although not definitely because shit can change in a heartbeat) and it already feels like a hundred years ago. All of the travelling and people I met, all the parties and shows and nights spent alone where I felt so exhausted by that fucking city. Every feeling and opportunity and thing that happened to me feels so separate and also insignificant to where I am now (geographically and in life I guess).

On Thursday I turn twenty years old. All of my friends (bar two) have left for their second year at university (or second season in Alp d'Huez) and although that feels strange, it's not that disastrous. Actually, being back in this town doesn't have solely negative connotations to me anymore. When I was stuck here at college I would've done anything to leave, I was dying of boredom and I was depressed as hell, but now I've lived in London for over a year, I've realised Penzance isn't such a bad place to be - I live literally five minutes away from the sea and short distances away from my favourite places - St.Ives, Falmouth, Newlyn and Mousehole. There are so many creative, warm, brilliant people in this town and I've been gifted an entire year to kind of do whatever I feel like doing. London, Exeter, Bristol, Brighton and even Durham (s/o 2 Emily) is only a coach away. It probably also helps that I'm not paying £130 a week rent. 

I've decided to use my time wisely, and to live very much 'in the moment' (yeah d/w I'm mentally retching). I've got myself two part-time jobs, I'm paying back my dad then learning to drive, I'm going to surf and travel a little and get back into running and illustration and who knows? Maybe I'll come back to london next year to intern somewhere fun. What I do know is that I'm not finished with education, and I'm reapplying for next year somewhere else. 

What two weeks ago felt like the end of the world, is now appearing to be the beginning of something quite interesting, and it's made me realise that even if everything goes to shit, it's still probably going to be ok. I'll leave you with a hand-on-heart promise that I have some really exciting content coming up, and this song by The Roches, which was on repeat for some weird, unexplained reason when I was doing my essays and seems particularly fitting now.


A.

Wednesday, 27 August 2014

27/8

Full posts coming up soon, I seem to be increasingly busy at the moment and this blog is back seating it for now. Always updating my instagram though!


Wednesday, 13 August 2014

Summer 2014 to-do List


Minute by minute, day by day, I can feel my summer wasting, dripping into the past like a melting ice-cream cone which will only leave you feeling sad, unsatisfied, and with fingers that are sticky and attract ants.

To rectify this inevitably disastrous situation, I have come up with a list. Most lists I write are shit and boring, to-do lists of essays and research and dishes to clean, but this one's alright, because it's full of (mostly weather dependant) fun stuff instead. 

These are all of the things I want to do now that I can do them, which sounds ominous, but it should do because we're all going to die. Enjoy!


1) Hang out with my friends

2) Read Carl Wilson's book Let's Talk About Love: Why other people have such bad taste

3) Have a night out in Falmouth

4) Pierce another hole in my ear

5) Find a chair for my desk in London

6) Have a yard-sale

7) Drop some acid

8) Go camping at the beach

9) Visit some art galleries

9.5) Sunbath in my garden and read books all day

10) Buy a new keyboard

10.5) Get bbq'in

11) Learn to kick-flip better

11.5) Go horse-riding

12) Go swimming/snorkelling off the rocks at Prussia Cove

13) Finish watching X-Files

14) Have a birthday party for myself

15) Find the perfect pair of black skinny jeans

16) Hang out in nicole's inflatable pool

17) Stay up all night just walking around and drinking cheap beer

17.5) Go to a pizza Saturday at the Tremenheere Sculpture Gardens

18) Go to a house party / try to get my friends to throw a house party

19) Finish a bunch of songs and PRACTICE BASS

20) Go on a Harmony Korrine film binge

21) Figure out ideal places to intern at in my third term

22) Go swimming again

22.5) Go to Bestival

23) Make a realistic band rehearsal schedule for a/w

24) Buy a fuzz pedal

25) Go to a party at the Ritz PZ

26) build a fort in my basement and have a sleepover (lame but so fun)

27) Go on a Wes Anderson film binge

28) Visit the Tate St.Ives with Nicole. Get carrot cake from the Ferrell bakery.

29) Camp in the woods

29.5) Play tennis (I'm great @ tennis)

30) Bonfire on the beach

31) Play basketball

32) Make these because they look disgusting and I'm totally into it

33) Find a cute boy and go on a row-boat date on Coronation lake

34) Make out with said cute boy 

35) Go swimming off the rocks in Mousehole

36) Watch the live-showing of A Streetcar Named Desire (with Dana Scully playing Blanche OMG!) at the Savoy Cinema

37) Swim in the tide pool at Cape Cornwall

38) Get high in the field at the top of my street

39) Take the open-top bus all the way to Sennen beach

40) Move everything into my new flat

Of course there will be photographs on here of everyone of these I do so keep an eye of for that but you can keep up with all my summer fun (lolz) on twitter, instagram & facebook

Now all I wanna know is WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR SUMMER?!

A x

Tuesday, 12 August 2014

Back At It Again


So it's been a while, but the last month has been the busiest month of 2014 so far. I finished my 9-5 internship (helped by the daily play of Black Lips' Arabia Mountain album), found an affordable, not-too-shit flat in East London to live in from September and moved all my stuff in, then moved back home for the remainder of my summer and travelled so much I never want to see the back seat of a car ever again.

;) 

I also realised that earning money as an adult sucks because you have to spend it all on rent, bills, bin bags, and train tickets anyway, but that's #life and you just have to #fuckingdealwithit.

I have a bunch of plans for my summer, but working full-time for two months has meant I've missed all of the festivals I wanted to get to, so there's going to be very little in terms of live music stuff, but there will be lots of other content, including university posts, tonnes of playlists, photographs, more fashion stuff, interviews, and potentially a clothing haul..? (don't panic this isn't becoming one of those types of blogs).

Right now I have a resubmission deadline to meet, so I've kept it short and just want to say that I hope you're all having fun, and here is a picture of me outside my new place.



A x

Saturday, 5 July 2014

Top-Tips 4 Fashion Interns

After working at Clash and continuing to work with Maria Pizzeria I've discovered that interning is hard, but fashion interns have it hardest. These are things I've learned along the way.



1) Make Friends

Yes you're there to get experience and learn and grow and whatever, but it's really unlikely you're going to get offered a job at the end of it (because HELLO! it's the recession/2014/generation Y/selfies/instagram etc) so it's a good idea to make friends with other interns and employed people lower down the food-chain in case they're hiring for shit like this in the future (or if you need someone to work for you). 

I met a fashion intern from Dazed & Confused outside of a PR office and it was a brief moment of heaven where we locked eyes on each others suitcases and knew that neither of us had had enough sleep, that we were both lost little fledglings in this vacuous, vicious wonderful world, (and in these East london back streets), and that we were both simultaneously having the best and worst times of our lives. We laughed at our misery and exchanged kind words and our names, but I forgot hers straight away.

I miss you Dazed girl.

2) Comfort > Style

Obviously you want to look good, but it is more important to be able to do your job. Interning is hard work on your body, and you will need comfortable, reliable shoes. It's called trainers and they're cool now. You can look good style-wise and not have bleeding feet at the end of day one I promise.

Don't even think about wearing heels or anything with a thin sole if your internship is going to be anything like mine (7+ hours of non-stop walking/running/heavy lifting/standing on trains and buses etc). One of the days took me to Hackney, Whitechapel, Shoreditch, Oxford Circus, Marylebone, Stoke Newington, Convent Garden and Lambeth, all with an increasingly heavy suitcase of clothes for a shoot). Have a coat with lots of pockets for phones/maps/travel cards etc, and don't wear clothes that are uncomfortable to wear all day, if you get very hot, or if you need to do lots of bending/reaching.

3) Keep Time


Figure out how long it takes you to get ready in the morning and then set your alarm accordingly.
Once you've done that, go back and factor in time for transport delays, wardrobe crisis, getting lost (especially for the first few days), inappropriate clothing choices when you do finally leave your house, and last minute requests from your boss. And always wear a watch.



3) Be Prepared

You can't do this without google maps. Even if you have spent every weekend of your life mapping the city your internship is in, finding studios and PR offices is like looking for a cool, stylish needle in a stupid, confusing haystack. Bring a backpack with you everyday. Have in it your wallet (with money), tissues, pens, a notebook, lip-balm, phone charger, travel cards, snacks, painkillers, plasters, and a bottle of water.

4) Ask

Don't know where you're meant to be going? Don't know how to work a steamer? Don't remember what kind of coffee your boss wanted? ASK.


You are there to learn, so it is important that if you do not understand or know something you find out (because it will find you out in the end). But don't ask too quickly. Only ask your boss if you have tried every possible option, because if it's then really obvious and you could've figured it out yourself you're going to feel like a dumb-ass.

4.5) But don't ask about designers names.

You should know this, even if you don't care about designers (you should really). It's like being a dentist and not knowing the different kinds of teeth. (I'll admit I couldn't pronounce Meadham Kirchhoff until I was sent to their studio and just kind of had to know it?? - it's like 'Meed-ham Kerch-off' btw) THIS HELPS. If you do get really stuck though put it in initials: 'I'm headed to the MK studio I'll be back in the office at 3" kinda thing and remember to STYLE IT OUT.

5) Own Up

Made a mistake? It's your fault. Do not put the blame on anyone else but yourself, just accept what you did was not what you should have done, apologise, and learn from it. I found this out working in a restaurant rather than at this internship but it's worth repeating. Don't beat yourself up though, making mistakes is how you learn.



6) Stairs are the enemy

Most of my days were spent with a huge heavy suitcase. I would leave the office in the morning praying that the wheels wouldn't buckle under the weight and say the c-word over and over again under my breath as I lugged the stupid thing up tube station stairs. Things you won't have noticed before will become of great importance - kerbs that slope down at crossing points, the extra wide ticket barriers in the tube stations, elevators and smooth pavements. Worship those who offer to help you carry things upstairs, these people must be protected at all costs.

7) Chill Out

If you find yourself in Oxford Circus at midday with a suitcase and a vague set of directions from a Polish builder whose grasp on English is not the tightest then I feel you. It will seem like everyone is trying to ruin your life, you've got eight places to go before the office closes, your feet won't take another step, that you can't get around this old man to save your life and you are about to push this group of Italian teens with London University hoodies into that incoming bus, but seriously, chill the fuck out. Use the back streets, breathe deeply, and try to eat something quickly, because your blood sugar is probably really low.

8) Take advantage of spare time

One day when I was working with a freelance stylist (not with the magazine), I was asked to do a pull from American Apparel, a process which involves walking around the store with a form where you basically write a list of items you want in colour, size and quantity. Pulls take hours because you have to wait around for the store to actually find these items and fill in loads of forms and blah blah blah.

Anyway, it was raining, and I'd been drinking until 2am and I was in Covent Garden for 9am, so with the four hours I had I went to The Diner, ordered black coffee and blueberry pancakes, went to Rokit and bought a grey sweater and then took a nap in a big chair in the downstairs bit of Cafe Nero. Find it hard to sleep in front of strangers? Not anymore kid. You're an intern now and you could fall asleep in front of a pack of savage wild dogs.

9) For when you want to quit...

You are an intern. You are the epitome of the started at the bottom line of that Drake song. 

ONE DAY, IF YOU KEEP GOING, YOU WILL BE THE 'HERE' PART OF THAT DRAKE SONG.

So many people want to be doing what you're doing. You have a very exciting, cool job that gives you ACCESS to a world which not many people have access to. You will go to showrooms which you will want to live in forever, you will go to PR offices which have clothes laid out for Danny Brown, you will work with amazing stylists, photographers, make-up artists, hair stylists and assistants, you will dance around a set with a model in a cowboy hat and bikini to Drunk in Love and you will meet so many brilliant people. You will visit proper office buildings with doormen and a badge with your name on. Your name will be in print in a magazine that you bought every issue of for the past two years and you will leave having learnt a lot and got something great to put on your cv. Be nice, have fun, work hard.

10) Always keep a banana in your bag.

(All screengrabs from the Fashion Intern Problems tumblr)